Standing in front of my reflection I debate, “How should I wear my natural hair today?” My hair feels subtle. It’s been freshly co-washed and my wide-tooth comb moves through it like a knife through warm butter. I stand there in front of my reflection examining it; so wild and untamed. Boy has my hair grown, but I have no true curl definition. The little definition I do have has no pattern to it at all. I usually find some coils here and there, mostly its frizz. But once I comb it, the fro is born.
So why do I debate, why can’t I just wear my hair?
It dawned on me that I am still working through my natural journey. I still have more to overcome. I have a bathroom and closet full of numerous hair products that promise coveted curl definition; crèmes, gels, conditioners, leave-ins, oils, all of which promise to transform my tresses into a good head of hair. I love my natural threads, however I find myself hiding them behind products and flat twists. Why can’t I just wear my hair, just wash it and go?
Many natural sista’s find themselves in the same situation. A girl I know asked me one day why I went natural. I gave my usual explanation about the health of my hair, the alopecia I experience, and so on. Once I finished, she told me that she was natural too. She explained that her journey began five years ago. I was shocked. I had known her for three years and had no idea. This woman rocks weaves. Every time I see her she’s got a different texture, different color, and a different length. I began to question whether or not she can claim being natural when she never wears her hair natural. I soon started questioning my claim of napturality as I pondered hers.
I am trying so hard to except myself, but I am still suffering from a deeply rooted hate and I am not alone. Often I get comments from girls, who want to go natural, hesitant because they are worried about their natural texture. Even some of us “naturals” are still struggling with society’s poisoned ideology of good hair and bad hair in black culture. We want so desperately to fit into the American beauty mold and we are subconsciously willing to break our banks and/or destroy ourselves in the process. There is really little reason to search for the “why” behind our denial of our own unique beauty, the best thing to do is get pass it. Let’s embrace our Afro-centric beauty. Let’s continue to progress towards celebrating our own identity by recognized when we are hiding behind factitious images we pay lots of money to maintain. Let’s let go of it all: the unhealthy products, the weaves, and the chemicals. Let’s just be natural for real. We can’t stop there either, let’s let go of the idea behind the “good head of hair”. Let’s except our hair, love it, embrace it, appreciate it, and floss it.
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i noticed an error….u used except as opposed to accept.
and are u sure u mean floss and not flaunt?
anyway, dont wanna seem like a grammar nazi, but i’d help anyway
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Many do hide behind fictitious ideals of beauty…while others just want to switch it up from time to time. I do actually wash and go sometimes, even with my mostly 4B texture. I have just recently gone natural and I find joy in creating new styles for my kinks and coils!
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Your article was really nice…seemed like you got out some deep emotions about how you feel about your hair. I can relate to this article a lot.
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Hey guys,
Thank you for commenting. I did mess up on the “except/accept” word….however I did mean to use floss instead of flaunt. I am forever missing typos when I proof-read my papers from the computer screen…..for some reason it is easier for me to catch my mishaps when I read it on paper …..lol
I was afraid that this article might seem a bit offensive. But you all seem to understand where I am coming from : )
I was just wondering what “natural” really meant to us. I am quite sure that it can mean many different things to different people. It is cool to think about though……
I do understand that some people are simply swtiching things up. I think its cool that we are able to do that. I love wearing my twists, but I have to admit recently I wear them to hide my fro. Why is that? I also know lots of girls who just hate or are insecure about their own hair. I have a sister who refuses to leave the house without a weave (if the house was burning it would have to wait…lol)….and as a result her hair and scalp is so damaged. She is always talking about how she’s cursed with bad hair. I hope she sees the light soon.
I am glad to see that you all appreciated my article. Thank you again for the comments.
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Oh yeah, Jay I hope I don’t end up driving you crazy with my missed typos. Thanks for reading my post.
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so true. i think its important for every woman, especially black women, to make sure she knows why she’s wearing her hair a certain way. if you got a relaxer.. ask yourself why. if you’re natural.. ask yourself why. you decide to wear a french roll to a classy event…know why. even if the reason is a jacked-up one, be self aware and honest with yourself.
now me… i have been natural for almost 3 years. i’m sitting here right now pre-pooing and after co-washing, i’m going to try a twist out.
why? because i got 3a, 3b, and 3c hair and, by my OWN definition what’s cute, it looks a mess when i try to wash and go.. lol.
<3dani
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Hi. I decided to go natural after my last relaxer sometime in late March. I transitioned for about five months, and I did my big chop today. I was kind of upset at how my hair looked afterward. I’m eighteen years old, and this is the shortest that I’ve ever seen my hair. After I read your blog though, I’m excited about going to college Monday and showing it off. Thanks a lot for this post!
By the way, how can you tell what texture your hair is? I’ve often wondered that.
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Hello Leeann,
I am glad that you liked my article. I know how difficult the transition from relaxed and lengthy to short and natural can be. We have to love ourselves and understand that our hair is NOT the only thing that define our beauty. It has a lot to do with internal health, confidence, caring for yourself, and understanding who you really are and being true to that. Congradulations….You are now on your journey. Know that it won’t always be easy….but your hair will love for it…give it a year and you will see.
To figure out your texture go to google…type in “hair type 4a, 4b, 4c” there are some websites that show you all different grades of curly textures. Also your hair may change over the next few months, so what you have now may not be the same later on.
For thickness…you should type in fine, medium, and coarse…to know what your individual strand texture is.
Many blessing sista
Let me know if you have more questions…I love helping out.
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Thanks for your article. I went natural about 1.5 years ago. I agree wit you about loving your hair texture and all… but the truth is… IT IS NOT EASY. It may be easier as a student, but it’s really hard for me cos I work in a very professional environment where African Americans are somewhat a minority.
Yes, your hair won’t get you fired, but if you are trying really hard to impress after paying tons of money to Ivy League universities and graduate schools it matters how you appear – more like the way you carry yourself matters. If you are not entirely comfortable with how you look, believe me, it shows.
Most of us were raised to believe that the corporate look is a conservative colored suit + Straight (and sometimes shorter) hair. At first I wore my hair in braids all the time… then one day I got upset and decided it was time to let out my hair – they had to love me that way. Discovered I couldn’t really do anything but two strand twists (My hair type is a 4C… If a 4D exists.. thats me… have ABSOLUTELY no curl pattern). Mind you I was one of those people that was in the salon every week. I had long permed hair that was always wrapped that even if I tried to scatter my hair it would always fall back in place, so I got frustrated with wearing the same look and i’m back to braids.
For people like me it’s not the easiest thing mentally to re-learn everything you know about your hair especially when it’s not the “common” look. Now i’m not disagreeing with anything you are saying. I’m just saying hair, like weight is a very sensitive issue and should discussed with care. I read some natural blogs that completely criticize weaves and chemical treatments. While I’m not a fan of any chemical treatments, it is important to know that one’s happiness matters the most. People should be told the facts in a very objective manner – addressing hair choices with the pros, cons, and proper care of each and let people decide for themselves. Let them do what makes them truly happy and confident black women… Believe me, natural hair (at least for those who are most concerned with healthy hair) will stand out. But people should not feel that they are any less of black/afro centric people if they decide to get a chemical treatment. I do not feel like that as I am born and raised Nigerian, but I have a lot of African American sisters that it’s important to represent their origins; their hair choices should not make them feel any less.
I’m still trying to find a good resource to find natural hair styles… full weave styles, and proper care of hair of type 4Z… lol… People also need advice on what to do when frustrated… cos I know how it feels and it takes the grace of the almighty each time to not get a perm. So I can use y’alls recommendations.
Sorry it’s long.. but that’s my 2 cents…..
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